ADULTS ONLY: Pastors and Their Wives Open Up On Séx Life

You see him on Sunday morning well dressed in his three piece suit
and looking freshly anointed. The picture you see is that of a cherub,
who has just arrived from the heavens with a message for the people
and would be back there soon after.
Once he starts to preach, the congregation is overwhelmed with the
awe he exudes. Because this is all they know about him, some
followers believe that is all about the pastor.
Ask some Christians and they will bet their life savings that their
pastors have never visited the toilet, not to talk of having séx. Where
on earth do they have the time for such "things", they seem to assert
in illusion.
But ‘Pastors crave more séx than others’...
The pastor is perhaps the most misunderstood and over-rated being
on earth today. He is rated as a semi-god, incapable of enjoying the
pleasures that life presents him. This is so because he rarely talks to
his adherents about other areas of his life.
Bosede Olusola-Obasa of PUNCH, asked some pastors and pastors’
wives if they have erotic feelings and séxual closeness with their
spouses like other people.
They said the illusion that pastors don’t have séx life only lies in the
minds of few ignorant congregants.
“Séx is a beautiful gift from God within the marriage context. It is not
possible for my husband not to have séx. He feels the same way other
men feel because he is human. It is the food of our marriage just as
food is to the body. We make it a regular affair because the absence
of it can negatively affect our relationship and even his work as a
pastor,” said Pastor (Mrs.) Kemi Olofinkua of the New Anointing
Deliverance Church, Anifowose, Ikeja, Lagos.
She said that both she and her husband do not take séx for granted
because starving one another could cause a scandal, especially if not
properly managed.
She said that she seldom turned down her husband’s invitation
because strange women would willingly offer themselves if allowed.
Olofinkua said, “People who think pastors don’t have séx must be
funny. No matter the level of anointing, a pastor needs his wife at
home. The difference between a pastor and other men is that he can
cope whenever his work demands that he abstains from séx .
“But it is dangerous to make him burn with desire for séx without
satisfying it with his wife. If this happens, he could be pushed out
into the waiting arms of many others because pastoral work usually
endears pastors to people – men and women. As a pastor’s wife, I
don’t take my husband’s séxual need for granted. When he beckons,
no matter how tired I am, I don’t turn him down.”
Similarly, Pastor Mrs. Shade Toyin-Kehinde said it is a fallacy to
think or say that pastors don’t have séx with their wives.
She said, “Pastors are not woods. It is the same with pastors as it is
for other men. Séx is an integral part of every marriage. It is anti-god
to wish it away. A healthy, regular séx is important to pastors
because it makes them to maintain focus and avoid falling on the
laps of other desperate women, who wish to have them because of the
glory on them .”
She said that she makes it a point of duty to ‘serve’ her husband,
especially after he has done great spiritual exploits, adding that a
pastor who has a poor séxual relationship with his wife would engage
in extra-marital affairs.
She said, “ If your wife has just served you hot pounded yam and egusi
soup before leaving home and someone then offers you beans, you will
naturally turn down the offer because you’re satisfy . I don’t joke with
my séxual relationship with my husband and I never say no to him.”
Toyin-Kehinde, who is the wife of the Pastor in charge of Agape
Generation International Church, Maryland, Lagos, said there should
be no week without séx between a pastor and his wife. She said a
healthy séx in marriage enhances holiness.
She said, “The anointing attracts goodwill and people. Some women
in church get so carried away that they tell the pastor ‘I just like you.’
The pastor’s wife must help her husband to overcome these overtures
by being there for him.
“My husband doesn’t flirt but we have devised means to stay close
always. Our offices are just side-by-side. When a woman comes to
him for counselling and she is not properly dressed, he directs her to
me. We preach healthy séx in marriage and we practise it.”
She said it is unfortunate that some pastors pretend to be too busy to
enjoy séx in marriage.
84-year-old pastor shares experience
Speaking from a male pastor’s viewpoint, 84-year-old clergyman,
Rev. Moses Iloh, who is a Senior Pastor at Soul Winning Chapel,
Ebute Meta, Lagos, offered personal love experience.
Having been married to his wife, Love, for 48 years, he said that a
healthy séxual relationship, among other things, has made him a very
happy man.
He said that the secret of the érotic relationship between him and his
wife is doing everything together.
Iloh said, “When we are 50 years in marriage, we will get married
again; we did same when we turned 25.
“From the first day of marriage, we bathed together, ate together,
shared the same bedroom. Our bodies belong to one another. With
these activities, there can be no barriers to a good séx relationship.
We don’t starve ourselves of séx,” he said.
Iloh regretted that some pastors allow themselves to be overtaken by
temptation because they neglect their wives in the name of being
busy.
He said “It is foolish for a pastor to abandon his wife because he is
doing God’s work. His wife is his priority .
“If you take good care of your wife, she will make love to you willingly.
That is what I have been doing. I am 84 and very agile, happy
because I have a happy home. Matrimony is the happiest thing that
happened to me. My wife is not around now but wherever I am, I am
always rushing home to be with my wife, friend and confidant.
“People who run into hurting relationships are open to illnesses and
may die young. They should seek help.”
Another male pastor, Pastor Bisi Adewale, said that nothing could be
farther from the truth than believing that pastors do not have séx
with their wives.
He said pastors crave séx just like every other man and there should
not be any pretence about it.
“My wife is not available right now; she would have told you more.
Pastors demand for séx more than men who are not pastors because
they have only one wife to turn to. The fact that we are pastors
doesn’t eliminate our biological make up. There should be no
pretence about this matter.
“I heard of a pastor who said he was looking for God’s power and
abstained from his wife for more than 10 years and a prominent
pastor in the country had to travel to Port Harcourt to settle the
issue. His wife needed him, but he wasn’t there. He didn’t get her
consent to go on a long period of abstinence to fast and pray to seek
the power of God. His wife had to resort to the use of vibrator .”
He gave another instance when a pastor abstained from his wife for a
long time to seek power until his mechanic impregnated his wife .
He said pretending about the need for séx is a major cause of
scandals in ministries and it should be avoided.