Here are several ways to heal and to let go of someone you love,
plus the most common mistakes people make when they’re trying
to move on.
These tips are inspired by a reader who asked for help letting go
of someone she loves (her husband), even though he’s not quite
“gone” yet. Here’s part of her email:
“My husband of 3 years is planning to leave me without an
explanation,” says Michelle (not her real name). “He is in a band
and tours every now and then, but that has never been a problem
till this tour… within a week of being on this tour he started
distancing himself. No calls, hardly any replies to my messages
on Facebook. I want to know how to let go of someone you love
because I believe he will leave me. How do I start over?”
It’s shocking, confusing, and heart-wrenching when your partner
leaves. I think learning how to let go of someone you love is
about rediscovering your passion and identity, so I want to focus
on reconnecting with the most important person in your life: you.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love
It’s important to remember that letting go of someone you love
isn’t something you do once – and poof! You’re free, healed, and
happy. Rather, letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward
and steps backward, good days and bad days.
1. Accept that you did the best you could in your
relationship. Don’t waste your time or energy feeling guilty or bad
about the choices you made in your relationship. You did the best
you could, you loved as much as you were able. No matter what
you did or didn’t do in your relationship, it ended — and it
probably would have ended regardless. If you want to be happy
and healthy – which involves learning how to let go of someone
you love – you need practice acceptance.
2. Decide what needs to change in your life. You have to actively
decide you want to let go of someone you love. Who do you want
to be? Where do you want to live, work, love, play, and
laugh? Instead of mourning the fact that you have to start over
because your relationship ended, I want you to try celebrating it.
Stop focusing on your ex and the pain. Instead, focus on the
excitement of a new beginning and fresh start. I know it’s easier
said than done – especially if your husband left you for another
woman – but it’s better for you in the long run.
3. Accept your lack of control. To let go of someone you love, you
need to accept that you can’t control many things in your life.
You can’t control who loves you, who leaves you, who helps you,
who betrays you. You can’t control your neighbourhood, the
traffic, the weather, or the economy. Of all the things you want to
change in your life, remember that you can’t change people . You
can sometimes change circumstances, and you can change your
attitude and response to events and people…but you can’t change
your husband, children, coworkers, neighbours, or family members.
4. Tap into your soul – start over spiritually. The happiest people
are those who are in touch with their spirits. Adding spirituality to
your life not only makes you feel better emotionally, it improves
your physical health. Tap into your soul by meditating, praying,
taking time to really listen to your heart, reading Scripture or other
soulful books, and talking to people about spiritual matters. The
end of a relationship – when you’re trying to let go of someone
you love – is a perfect time to start getting back into your
spiritual life.
5. Get outside help on how to let go of someone you love. A life
coach, counselor, financial adviser, or even a professional
organizer can help you let go and move on. Whether you should
hire a life coach or talk to a counsellor depends on your situation.
If you’re struggling with self-identity, major life changes, fear,
anxiety, depression, or your marriage – then I encourage you to
talk to a counsellor. Therapists can provide objective feedback and
guidance that our friends and family can’t offer. If you have
money problems, financial advisers can help you become
financially independent. Professional organizers can help you
declutter — which can improve your physical and mental health!
I hope these tips on how to let go of someone you love help.
Please feel free to share your story below. It does help to write
your thoughts and feelings, even if you feel embarrassed or
ashamed.
sent you story to
nastygist@gmail.com
plus the most common mistakes people make when they’re trying
to move on.
These tips are inspired by a reader who asked for help letting go
of someone she loves (her husband), even though he’s not quite
“gone” yet. Here’s part of her email:
“My husband of 3 years is planning to leave me without an
explanation,” says Michelle (not her real name). “He is in a band
and tours every now and then, but that has never been a problem
till this tour… within a week of being on this tour he started
distancing himself. No calls, hardly any replies to my messages
on Facebook. I want to know how to let go of someone you love
because I believe he will leave me. How do I start over?”
It’s shocking, confusing, and heart-wrenching when your partner
leaves. I think learning how to let go of someone you love is
about rediscovering your passion and identity, so I want to focus
on reconnecting with the most important person in your life: you.
How to Let Go of Someone You Love
It’s important to remember that letting go of someone you love
isn’t something you do once – and poof! You’re free, healed, and
happy. Rather, letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward
and steps backward, good days and bad days.
1. Accept that you did the best you could in your
relationship. Don’t waste your time or energy feeling guilty or bad
about the choices you made in your relationship. You did the best
you could, you loved as much as you were able. No matter what
you did or didn’t do in your relationship, it ended — and it
probably would have ended regardless. If you want to be happy
and healthy – which involves learning how to let go of someone
you love – you need practice acceptance.
2. Decide what needs to change in your life. You have to actively
decide you want to let go of someone you love. Who do you want
to be? Where do you want to live, work, love, play, and
laugh? Instead of mourning the fact that you have to start over
because your relationship ended, I want you to try celebrating it.
Stop focusing on your ex and the pain. Instead, focus on the
excitement of a new beginning and fresh start. I know it’s easier
said than done – especially if your husband left you for another
woman – but it’s better for you in the long run.
3. Accept your lack of control. To let go of someone you love, you
need to accept that you can’t control many things in your life.
You can’t control who loves you, who leaves you, who helps you,
who betrays you. You can’t control your neighbourhood, the
traffic, the weather, or the economy. Of all the things you want to
change in your life, remember that you can’t change people . You
can sometimes change circumstances, and you can change your
attitude and response to events and people…but you can’t change
your husband, children, coworkers, neighbours, or family members.
4. Tap into your soul – start over spiritually. The happiest people
are those who are in touch with their spirits. Adding spirituality to
your life not only makes you feel better emotionally, it improves
your physical health. Tap into your soul by meditating, praying,
taking time to really listen to your heart, reading Scripture or other
soulful books, and talking to people about spiritual matters. The
end of a relationship – when you’re trying to let go of someone
you love – is a perfect time to start getting back into your
spiritual life.
5. Get outside help on how to let go of someone you love. A life
coach, counselor, financial adviser, or even a professional
organizer can help you let go and move on. Whether you should
hire a life coach or talk to a counsellor depends on your situation.
If you’re struggling with self-identity, major life changes, fear,
anxiety, depression, or your marriage – then I encourage you to
talk to a counsellor. Therapists can provide objective feedback and
guidance that our friends and family can’t offer. If you have
money problems, financial advisers can help you become
financially independent. Professional organizers can help you
declutter — which can improve your physical and mental health!
I hope these tips on how to let go of someone you love help.
Please feel free to share your story below. It does help to write
your thoughts and feelings, even if you feel embarrassed or
ashamed.
sent you story to
nastygist@gmail.com
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